Can you stick to your values for 28 days? I took on a core values challenge to find out.
How do you become your BEST YOU?
I’ve been telling people that living true to your values can help you become happier and more successful. But is that true? Or is that pseudo-science someone made up to make you feel good?
Let’s put it to the test.
I took on a Core Values Challenge to explore the art of intentional living and answer these three questions:
- Can I stick to my values for 28 days?
- Will my life improve?
- And will my credibility in giving you good advice hold up?
Here’s what happened…
Day 1 – Create Your Core Values
The obvious place to start is that I need to define my values. Not having values to start a values challenge is like taking on a cooking challenge without any food. You can’t be intentional without first setting an intention. Read this post if you need to define your values.
Day 2 – Remember Your Core Values
This is embarrassing. It’s only day two and I woke up and can’t remember my values.
I feel like Jason Bourne. I’ve forgotten my top five values already. I can remember four of them, but not the 5th one. So today’s mission is to remember my values. To do this I went out and bought a small picture frame to use as a visual display or reminder that I can put on my desk.
Day 3 – The No Plan Approach
I’m ready. I’ve picked my values. I’ve remembered what they are – yay!
But is that going to be enough to live an intentional life? And what does that even mean?
Today, I deliberately didn’t set any specific intentions to see what would happen.
My Review
As I hop into bed at night I have built the habit of reviewing my day.
And this is a perfect practice to review how my core value challenge is going. In particular, am I living an intentional life?
And you might have guessed… without a plan not much happened. It was kind of the same old same old day. I didn’t have any burst of clarity, focus or intentionality. And I can’t say my values made any difference today. Probably no surprise there.
But, at least I tested this out. Now, I’d better try something different tomorrow or this whole challenge is going to be a waste.
Day 4 – Measuring Your Values
When you run a marathon they paint a line on the road to tell you where the finish line is. But how do you know whether you living true to your values or not?
I’ve been struggling with this. I still don’t know the answer but I’m going to try this today to see if it works. Every time I do something that is aligned with my values I’m going to add a mark in my notebook. Let’s see if it works…
Day 5 – Am I overthinking this?
That was a lot of effort yesterday measuring things all day. I put 42 marks in my notebook so it kind of worked. It made me think about my values throughout the day. But something wasn’t right about it either. I’m not sure what.
Day 7 – Does measuring your values work?
Counting my actions did make me focus on my values. That’s a win!
But, what was I actually counting? For instance, If I’m being creative and doing something creative, does that count as two?
And sometimes your values overlap. If I’m being adventurous in my creativity, does that count as two?
I concluded that measuring your values doesn’t make a lot of sense. It’s trying to quantify quality. The art of intentional living is about the quality of your life and not numbers on a spreadsheet.
What do you think about this? Do you agree?
Day 9 – A Single Core Value
Today I’m going to try something different. I’m going to focus on one value per day. I think that will be easier than trying to track all five values. So today is Creativity Day.
My Review
That worked. Just focusing on creativity worked today. And it was kind of an easy one for me because I’ve already designed my life around doing creative tasks. I’m writing, making videos and the like. But there is still plenty of room to explore Being Creative.
For more on being and doing your values read this: How to Take Your Personal Core Values From Good to Great
Day 10 – A Day of Gratitude
The core value I am focusing on today is Gratitude.
And my big action is to go for a Gratitude Walk. That means going for a walk and being thankful for all the people that have helped me.
- For instance… I’m grateful for everything my Mum and Dad have done for me. I’m thankful for all of the teachers I’ve had… I’m grateful for my friends, colleagues and clients…
- But it’s also about all the people who make my life possible that I’ve never met. Like the thousands of people who helped create the iPhone and the editing software and YouTube and who built the footpath and paved the road I was walking on.
Day 12 – My Ideal Day
While focusing on one value per day definitely works, there is another way to live an intentional life. That is to live your Ideal Day. I talked about how to design your Ideal Day here.
It’s a chance to stack a whole bunch of value-based activities into an hour or a day.
My ideal day starts with going for a walk, having a coffee and reading a book.
Simple pleasures! And some easy ways to stick to my values.
Day 14 – A Punch in the Face
Day 14 – A Punch in the FaceToday I’m living my Ideal Day again. It started out perfectly.
- Walk – Tick
- Coffee – Tick
- Reading – Tick
But then as I was reading Eric Barker’s book, Plays Well With Others, I read this line:
“We love autonomy, but some suggest this is what is making us lonely.”
It felt like a punch in the face.
I have been feeling lonely a lot lately. I don’t have a good social support network around me at the moment.
And there it was in black and white – autonomy, one of my favourite values could be causing it. That was a shock. I didn’t see that coming.
Have I taken this too far? Was my prized value making me lonely and depressed?
Day 15 – Do I need to change this?
I’m still thinking about what I read yesterday. I thought I was rock solid on my five values. But now I’m thinking I have to change autonomy. Have I gone too far on this?
I’ve reached a point where I probably have enough freedom in my lifestyle. Perhaps I need to swing the pendulum back the other way to include other people. I need to go for a walk to think about this.
Day 16 – A Day of Adventure
Today’s value is adventure. And this doesn’t mean living like Indiana Jones – I just need to be exploring new and different things.
This morning I got up early for a swim for the first time this summer. It’s part of my ideal day. And I’d been threatening to do it for a while. And today I did!
The water was cool but so refreshing. Simple pleasures!
Day 18 – Universal Human Values
I’m still thinking about autonomy. And then the universe sent me this…
I found it online today – it’s a list of the top ten Universal Human Values. (I wrote about the Universal Human Values here).
And there is something really interesting about the top five values.
Four out of the top five values are social.
That’s a big insight and another reason to change autonomy to something social.
Day 20 – Happiness as a Value
Today is Happiness Day.
You might have heard the expression ‘put on a happy face’. Well, today that’s me. This is a simple action I can take to express my core value around happiness.
It’s not the whole story about happiness, but it’s an easy place to start.
Day 22 – My Big Decision
I’ve made my decision to ditch autonomy. I’ve been thinking about this for a few days. And I’ve concluded that I’ve taken my personal freedom and autonomy too far. And it has become a values conflict with my happiness and well-being.
I’m not sure what I’m going to replace with it just yet. But today I came up with this big list of social values that I can choose from. I’m leaning toward collaboration or partnership. But I’m not sure yet.
Day 25 – Where Values Live
Today’s value is Creativity again. But on my morning walk, I found this… It’s the Enterprize. It’s a fully operational replica of an 1830s tall ship.
I’d never been on a sailing ship like this before so it was an obvious opportunity for adventure. And an opportunity too good to pass up. Had I not been doing this values challenge, I would have made up some excuse not to do this. Not today!
Now that’s the art of intentional living!
Day 27 – My New Core Value
Day 27 – My New Core ValueI found It! The destroyer has provided the answer! It was reading Eric Barker’s second book, Plays Well With Others, that had me toss out Autonomy as a value.
And I’ve been struggling to find the right one to replace. But in a strange sense of irony, in his first book, Barking Up The Wrong Tree, Eric Barker has provided the answer. It comes from this passage:
“Friends are just family we choose. This allows us to collaborate on a scale that’s impossible for other animals. This is the secret to our success as a species. It’s also the secret to your success as an individual: friendship.”
That is my replacement value for autonomy. Thanks Eric!
Day 28 Three Big Lessons from My Values Challenge
I did it! I survived the 28-day core values challenge.
What did I learn? Here are my three big lessons.
- The art of intentional living takes practice. Just picking some values doesn’t make a lot of difference. You need to work on them, practice them and pay attention to them every day.
- The big moment for me was swapping autonomy for friendship. I didn’t see that coming. And it will be interesting to live this for the next six months and see what impact it really has.
- And, the big win I had was to notice little changes in my decision-making. For instance, I would not have gone swimming or on the sailing ship had I not been thinking about my values. That’s the art of intentional living in action.
Three Answers to My Big Questions
And now for three answers to the questions I posed at the start of this challenge.
- Can I stick to my values for 28 days? Yes. I definitely did this. Big tick.
- Did my life improve? No, I can’t claim that. Not yet. Some things have shifted. But, I think I need to stick to my values for six months or 12 months to be able to answer that. Perhaps I can come back then and tell you in a future post.
- Now for the big question… Did my credibility in telling you to live true to your values stand up? That’s for you to answer. What do you think?
More on How to Stick to Your Values and the Art of Intentional Living
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