Why is it that we often know exactly what to do… but still don’t do it?
Dr Patterson Stark spent years believing that if his patients simply had enough information, they’d make better decisions. Experience taught him otherwise.
In this short conversation, he reflects on the shift that changed not only the way he practises medicine, but the way he works with people. It’s a simple insight with implications far beyond health. Whether you’re leading a team, coaching others, parenting, or trying to change your own habits, this conversation offers a different way of thinking about change.
This is a short extract from On Experience, a series of conversations exploring how our experiences shape the way we see and respond to the world.
Geoff: Tell us a little bit more about how that works, because there’s often a big gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it.
Dr Patterson Stark: Lifestyle medicine out of the States, and the curriculum they teach is built around positive psychology. Positive psychology says, “Don’t focus on what you can’t do. Focus on what you can do.”
For me, it was hard to get my head around that after doing my own thing for close to a decade before I joined them. My idea was that if you firehose people with enough information, they’re going to see the common sense and do it.
No.
People get overwhelmed, and it takes a lot more attention than it should. So I had to relearn that positive psychology approach.
What is taught now within our curriculum is this:
“People can only do what they feel capable of doing, so you want to build on success, not failure.”
Instead of saying, “You didn’t get your 18,000 steps today, so you’ve got to make it up tomorrow.”
You say, “Great, you got 6,000 today, and life happens. But overall, the week’s looking a lot better than it did the month before. Keep it up.”
Or, “You actually ate three pieces of broccoli this week. That’s great. Think you could put half a can of beans somewhere?”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
“Okay, great.”
That’s the part that got me to become more respectful of the patient’s ability to respond, and to sit back and let the process happen.
Because you want to get in and heal. That’s the old school.
No.
It’s only better when they make it better.
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