Have you ever been wrong about something that seemed so right?
For me, I started eating the Paleo diet to help with gut problems. It worked for six months as I gorged myself on meat (especially bacon) and anything fatty. However, the lack of fibre leads to constipation. I then flipped to a Whole Food Plant Based diet and my health has improved significantly since.
What have you been wrong about in your life?
Everyone tells you to set goals.
But what if they are wrong? What if there is a better way to achieve great results and grow at the same time?
I’m great at setting goals but lousy at finishing them.
I’ve been wrestling with this most of my life. At one point I had 25 half-written books. Literally, books I’d half-written but never finished.
I was beginning to wonder if I was fatally flawed – that I would always be a dreamer who never finished anything.
So I’ve spent a lot of time looking for ways to fix this. I’ve even written four books about productivity and how to finish your projects.
James Clear, author of the best-selling book Atomic Habits, points out four problems with goals.
While we celebrate the winners we forget about the people who had the same goal and didn’t achieve it.
At the Paris Olympics, over 90% of athletes will not win a medal. Many of these athletes, will have trained for this goal for over a decade. But still, they fail.
Or that last job you applied for… A thousand people may have applied but only one succeeded.
And when you do achieve your goal you don’t instantly become a better person.
For instance, if it takes you six months or 180 days to write a book. For 179 days you’ve failed. Then on one day six months later, you’re successful – you have a book. That can make success sweeter but it can also make the journey harder.
This is one reason I find it hard to stay motivated writing my books. I’m focusing on the end result and I’m constantly feeling like I’m failing. This is made worse because I have multiple books I want to finish. And it’s all too easy to focus on what’s not done than on the task at hand.
Plus, the challenge of goal achievement can make you feel like you are constantly chasing something. And this can increase your stress levels and impact your health. The other side of this is eustress – the benefit from pursuing a challenge. But finding the balance between stress and eustress is not easy.
Motivation is a slippery thing to master. When I’m motivated and writing my book, the goal is inspiring. But when I’m not motivated the goal feels like an anchor weighing me down. It can be a burden and a chore rather than a meaningful pursuit.
Plus, a lot of the words you write for a book don’t make the finished cut – which seems like a waste that takes you further away from reaching your goal. Yes, I know that is the process of writing. But it makes the mountain a steeper climb.
Have you ever had a fitness or health goal? You can have a goal to run a marathon. But as soon as you achieve that goal and stop running, you lose the health benefits. That hardly seems fair.
If it’s flawed to chase goals, what should you do instead?
Firstly, that’s the good news. It’s a relief. It means you’re not flawed. But your process of chasing goals is.
Second, goals are useful. They give us direction.
So you need goals, the real challenge is to pursue them correctly. But how do you do that?
The key is to build systems. In particular, you need to build habits. And that’s what James Clear is pointing to.
For me, my writing goal is still to write a book. But rather than focus on that outcome, it’s better to focus on a daily writing habit.
The advantages of this approach are:
Focus on being better every day. And your results will take care of themselves.
What habit could you build to become a better you?
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