Today, I’ll show you how to determine your core life values in 3 easy steps.
And to make this practical, I’ll show you the exact steps I took to define my values.
Your values are your compass for your life. They help you make good decisions and keep you heading in the right direction.
Three Obstacles You Need to Overcome
To determine your core life values you have to overcome three challenges:
- How to choose the RIGHT values
- How to FOCUS on your top 3-5 values
- And how to USE them to live a great life
If you can solve all three of these problems, then you’ll have a real plan for living a great life and becoming the person you aspire to be. Can you do it?
Yes, I know you can because this is the exact process I use with my paying clients to determine their values before we start working together. Plus, I’ve done this often to refine my values.
Now let’s put it to the test… Grab your pen/paper or device and let’s get started…
1 How To Choose The RIGHT Values
How do you know which values to choose?
If you are having ice cream and there are only two choices – chocolate or vanilla – then this is easy to make a decision.
But a Google search for ‘how many values are there’ shows there are hundreds of values to choose from. That makes it harder to decide which ones to pick.
Plus, you can’t just copy someone else’s values, because they may not be a good fit for you. That’d be like eating the same meals as your partner all of the time. And that might not be to your taste.
How do you choose the right ones for YOU?
Imagine that you were in your favourite store and you were buying a new coat. How would you pick the right one? You might check for the style, the colour, the fabric and the price. Then you’d try it on. Does my bum look big in this? And if the coat passes this test, then you might pay for it and take it home. When you get home you might think you’re onto a winner. But you’re not really going to know whether you made the right move until you test your new coat in everyday life. Is it warm enough? Does it look good with jeans? Do my friends think it looks good on me?
This is how you choose your values. Simply pick what appeals to you. Try them on. Live with them for a while and then make up your mind whether to keep them or not.
With that in mind, here are 30 values to choose from below. And feel free to add others that aren’t on this list. (There’s an animated sequence in the video if you want some inspiration at the 2:24 mark)
TIP: Don’t think too much about it. Just pick. Ah, that looks good. I like that one. Islamic scholar and poet Rumi said it best: ”Respond to every call that excites your spirit.”
2 How to FOCUS on your top 3 values
Now, if you’ve had some fun with that exercise, you probably have a long list of values. Great.
But, when you have too many values, this dilutes your focus. It’s like trying to read too many books at once. It’s hard to stay focused on their key stories and you never finish reading any of them.
How do you cut your long list of values down to 3 to 5 core life values?
You simply need to compare and contrast each one.
- Pick two of the values you picked at random.
- Ask yourself, which one of these is more important?
- The more important one goes to the top of your list.
- Pick another value at random and ask the same question – Is the value at the top of your list more important than the one you have just selected?
- The one you picked goes to the top of your list.
- Keep working through your list until you have your number one or primary value.
- Then repeat this until you have your top 3-5 values.
If you need help with this, check out the video to see me walk through this process (Watch from 3:44).
TIP: Notice I said top 3-5 values. You might find you have three outstanding values and that is enough for you to focus on. Or it might be four or five. Go with what feels right for you. But, I also wouldn’t have more than five. That’s dilutes your focus.
3 How to USE them to live a great life
Great! Now you have a focused list of your top 3-5 values. But how do you use these values to live a great life and become the person you aspire to be?
Do you eat a healthy diet? Most people you ask will say ‘yes’. Of course, they would because they’re not going to see, ‘No, I deliberately eat unhealthy food so I can get sick and die early’.
But what is healthy food for one person is not healthy for another.
I’m a classic example. I eat a whole food plant-based diet. That means I eat mostly fruit, veggies, whole grains, nuts and legumes. But I also don’t eat meat, dairy, packaged food, oil and salt. Compared to most people, this is extreme. But in my view, this is the healthiest way I can eat for myself AND the planet.
How healthy do you eat? The answer comes down to your values.
And this is the fun part about working with your values. Best of all, it’s also how you make them personal. You get to define what they mean to you.
There are two parts to this.
1 Definitions
You need to define what each of your values means to you.
You might use a dictionary to help you formally do this. Or you might keep it simple and casual. For instance, creativity is ‘making things’.
For me, creativity has two parts. It’s the things I make. Like a video or this blog post. It’s also a way of being or an attitude that I can bring to any situation. If I feel stuck, then I can put on my creative hat to find a solution.
2 Examples and Expressions
Second, are your examples or expressions. This is how you will take action in your life to be consistent with your values.
For instance, for creativity this could be expressed as coming up with ideas, making art or wearing stylish clothes.
They’re your values, you get to say what they mean and how you are going to express them.
Plus, you can change these expressions over time. At various times my creative expressions have been: Architect, Author, Sculptor, Painter and currently Movie Maker.
TIP: This is not meant to be a ‘write once and forget’ list. Instead, keep it as a work in progress. Continue to add to it and delete from it as you explore new and better ways to live true to your values.
My Values
Here are the values I created for myself from doing this exercise.
More on How to Determine Your Core Life Values
If you want more on how to determine your core life values then read these blog posts next:
